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Friday, July 28, 2006

oh, summer...

ive been thinking a lot about summer this week. and about how i feel like im really missing out. ive wanted so very much to be productive with sewing that ive spent most of my time indoors trying to hurry along and finish my bag collection. but its summer... and maybe when it thunders i will resume my sewing. i most likely keep the windows open, lay in my bed and listen to the rain. a good storm is one of few things that actually relaxes me.

i had a whole summertime project planned. i was going to take a class with jack booth, my favorite professor in the world and perhaps my mentor (even tho i dont think he knows it) but the class was canceled and $1800... so either way, that wasnt going to happen. so i could do this project on my own. making magic realism stories into photographs. in my mind i see mateo dressed up in a suit talking to someone. i dunno if borges ever wrote about a dog in a suit... lets hope he did. but then there is the film. i have en entire bag of 220 film sitting in the garage that wasn't used in mexico. but i didn't put it in the refrigerator and the mold from "the floods of '06" probably ruined it anyway. i dont want to look. ill probably throw the bag at the wall with disappointment. using digital is always an option. but when i print, bigger is better and i adore my mamyia 645 afd. it was my graduation present. the pictures always amaze me. i have to use it. the canon 10d is okay. but really, is it there yet? who knows...

then their is polaroiding. i suppose the thing i am most often remembered by photographically. its such a simple simple joy and i suppose my ADD is obsessed with the idea of instant gratification. but again... the lack of money think is kinda of a n issue when trying to buy film.

ive really cooped myself up this summer. badly. im not enjoying it. the thing i enjoy most about summer is midnight bike rides. all alone, quiet empty streets and my ipod. the summer of '04 on my bianchi in the south end were some of the most peaceful nights of my life. i miss it. last summer too.. even tho new york never really gets quiet, i found little streets which seemed dark and calm and i pretended like i was the only one in the whole city. but there is no city in my life this summer. only torn up suburban streets. my bike is sitting in my parents garage. its pretty there. i road my bike there as a kid... it would be the best place to ride at this point. smooth roads... pretty quiet streets. but...

i have Myofascial Pain Syndrome
or fibromyalgia, depending on which doctor you ask... either way, there is pain and riding a bike is about the worst thing for it. i cant even drive my car without feeling like shit. so what does that leave?

ahhhh swimming! amazing for the back, gentle and summertime. but the only pool i have access to is at the parents country club. i hate even the sound of that word. ew. its filled with brats and Lily Pulitzer clad moms. its a sickening sight.

so... summer is slipping away and i am bored. and house season 2 isn't out on dvd yet to amuse me and bit torrent SUCKS.


vanessa.e. said...

you are nostalgic, contemplative and anxious all at once. don't let the summer slip by. just enjoy it day by day and things will fall in place. one day you will look back and long for this summer, somehow, something about it.

you can always come down and visit me if you need some summer action! really, i mean it!

rachel. said...

so true. i think the canon and i need to go out on the town and take some pictures. its free right?

anyone up for swimming as the sun goes down? only way to avoid the assholes who spend the day at the pool.